Long Live the X-Men Franchise
Pour one out for a beloved, flawed series
The X-Men series ended this weekend, with the release of Dark Phoenix. I won’t see this movie, because it does not look like it could possibly be good, and reviewers say it’s bad. And how could it be possibly good? It’s the fourth X-Men movie of a timeline, in a franchise where the films always peak with the 2nd installment, then veer downward (I shudder to think what Deadpool 3: We Brought Wolverine Back will be like). I mean, look at this garbage:
But as flawed as these movies were, I will miss them. In a world that goes more and more into huge, planned tentpole franchises run by reasonable adults with good content strategies, it was always refreshing to see a franchise that went full insane, with all the accompanying highs and lows that it produced.
So let’s raise a glass to the X-Men franchise, a group of films unlike any other before or since. And let’s look at what made this franchise special — some of the weirdest and most varying characters, films that varied in quality from astonishing to abysmal, and true star performances from a handful of actors.
The Widest and Wildest Cast of Characters
The X-Men comic books have always had some of the largest and most fun cast of characters in comic books. The X-Men movies took it one step further — they still had some of the best characters. But the portrayals of these characters always jumped around wildly from film to film. If your favorite character was in one of these movies, they would either be supremely cool or absolute garbage, with no consistency whatsoever.
For instance, my favorite character is Nightcrawler. He became my favorite in X2, as Alan Cummings absolutely steal the show as the best part of the best X-Men movie with his badass, soulful, thoughtful portrayal of Kurt Wagner.
Imagine my surprise when he completely disappeared from the franchise for thirteen years. Then, when he finally reentered the stage in X-Men Apocalypse, he’s a twee, emo punk nobody.
But that’s par for the course for this franchise! Do you love Colossus? See him in Deadpool, where he’s the film’s gigantic, ripped, chrome heart and soul.
Or, see him in X2, where he barely features. Rogue? Huge part of X-Men and X2, then barely exists in Days of Future Past. Beast? Has a ton to do in First Class, basically nothing in The Last Stand. Mystique? The emotional core of First Class and Days of Future Past; an early casualty of The Last Stand. Deadpool? Great in Deadpool and Deadpool 2; literally has his mouth sewn shut in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Angel? Pick another character, he’s always going to suck.
In a normal franchise, finding out that your favorite character is in a movie is generally a good thing. In the X-Men movies, it means nothing at all! Your favorite character might have an awesome performance, or they might be totally butchered — it’s an absolute coin flip.
The Best and Worst Writing in The Multiverse
The character variance is part and parcel of a bigger quality I’ll miss about the X-Men movies. In the X-Men universe, the overall quality fluctuates WILDLY from film to film.
By way of contrast, consider the Marvel movies. Taken in aggregate, a random Marvel movie is definitely better than the average X-Men movie. But Marvel movies exist within the same band of pleasant competency. For instance, the worst MCU film is probably Thor: The Dark World. And even that is a pleasant, if pointless, romp through the multiverse with Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston doing their thing. It’s a B- movie, but there are worse ways to kill 120 minutes of your time.
By contrast, the worst X-Men movie is X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which is barely a movie at all. It’s a badly stitched pastiche of three different bad movies, incoherently shot, directed and put together. It’s an abomination to the eyes and should not exist.
But then, the best of the Marvel universe is probably Thor: Ragnarok. Which is an excellently made, very fun movie with great acting. It’s a really good movie!
But the best X-Men movie is Logan. And Logan is fucking transcendent. Logan blows Thor: Ragnarok out of the water and eats its lunch.
Aim for a random Marvel movie, and you’ll almost certainly get something in the B/B+ range. Choose a random X-Men movie, and you could get an A+ (X-2), an F (The Last Stand), a B+ (Days of Future Past) or anything in between!
As good as the Marvel movies get, they never reach the level of greatness the best X-Men films did. And as rote as the MCU can be, they are never truly appalling the way the worst X-Men films are.
The Marvel movies are your funny, reliable, solid friends, the ones who buy you a drink, ask about your day, have 9–5 jobs and go home at reasonable hours. The X-Men movies are your gleefully deranged friends who throw you the best parties, bail you out of jail, and also maybe get you arrested because they showed up to your party high and driving a stolen cop car. You should probably have more Marvel friends, just for your own sanity — but your best stories always involve your X-Men friends.
Wolverine, Professor X and Magneto
So how do you even make a franchise when you have such a crazy cast of characters who vary in quality so widely, and when your writing goes from phenomenal to appalling in the blink of an eye? By anchoring their presence in the stars they had — Professor X (Patrick Stewart/James MacAvoy), Magneto (Ian McKellen/Michael Fassbender) and of course Wolverine (Hugh Jackman).
There were other actors who pulled star turns in the X-Men universe — Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool comes to mind, as does Anna Paquin’s Rogue, Nicholas Hoult’s Beast and Jennifer Lawrence’s Mystique. But again, these characters are often saddled with the franchises’ inconsistent writing. Somehow, the Professor X/Magneto/Wolverine characters manage to escape most of the worst of the franchises’ ills, and these three were the only pieces of consistency in an insane X-Men universe.
Patrick & Ian & James & Michael
Let’s start with Professor X and Magneto, the two titans of the X-Men universe. Sir Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart came into these franchises as titans of British acting, some of the most acclaimed thespians in the world. They immediately gave the X-Men franchise real weight and power, as they lent their considerable acting chops to the two most important characters in the franchise.
Look at this scene:
Patrick Stewart brings kindness and gravitas to Professor X. He also brings a steely toughness, buried deep beneath all the warm smiles and zen koans that lets you know he absolutely does not fuck around when the cards are down. Sir Ian McKellen imbues Magneto with a ferocious and intimidating glower, and a willingness to do anything to get his goals accomplished. He also possesses a fascinating and magnetic charisma that helps you understand why people keep being drawn to and follow this madman.
For my money, though, the best depiction of these two comes in First Class, one of the only good prequels to ever exist. Michael Fassbender and James MacAvoy nail the nascent chemistry of these two men, who don’t have any history but a shared dynamism, energy and drive that draws them together and pushes them apart. Somehow they both know on a certain level that what they do together can’t last, but they’re still pulled in by each other’s energy. And it leads to dynamite scenes like this:
The two of them also dig deeper into these characters that McKellen and Stewart established a decade earlier. McAvoy uncovers the privileged, slightly smarmy layer on Professor X’s warmth and humanism. And Fassbender dives into the deep pain, suffering and search for connection that motivates Magneto’s rage. They are the rare actors to enhance the work of greats that came before them, adding on layers that their predecessors had hinted at and giving them real depth.
For as crazy as these films could get, Stewart/McAvoy and McKellen/Fassbender provided the solid moral grounding. One staked out the position of doing what’s right, no matter what it costs. The other took the position of doing whatever it takes to do what’s right. The rest of the world would bounce off the two of them in sometimes reasonable, sometimes insane ways — but in the middle, it was always Professor X and Magneto playing the latest version of their chess game.
The One True Wolverine
If Professor X was on the side of the angels, and Magneto the side of the devils, Wolverine had an even more important role. He was on the side of the humans, specifically the humans who want some goddamn peace and quiet and just want to drink and be left alone.
Eight years before Robert Downey Jr. staked his claim in the MCU, Hugh Jackman made it clear to the entire world that he would be Wolverine, now and forever. From his first entrance in X-Men as a surly, cage fighting drunk who barely speaks coherent English, he has been the beating heart of the X-Men franchise for all the good, the bad, and the weird.
In the first movie especially, Wolverine serves as a gruff, ornery audience surrogate, one who has no interest in the X-Men’s history, the timelines or the X-Men cinematic universe. Who cares? he grumbles, speaking to the hearts of every impassive audience member. Cyclops is a lame square, Storm has a weird accent, Professor X is an annoying zen dork , he growls, echoing the thoughts of every member of the theater forced to see a “nerd” film. But, like those impassive audience members, Wolverine is gradually won over by the X-Men’s optimism and the warm, slightly corny family that Professor X has built.
Some nerds will whine that movie Wolverine is a much larger presence than he is in the comics, and he ends up taking a lot of the meat that would normally have gone to characters like Cyclops. And that’s true. But whatever! It gave this deranged franchise the closest thing it ever had to a true anchoring superstar.
If there is a through-line in the insanely convoluted and stupid X-Men franchise, it is Logan’s growth. The man who entered the picture as a snarling, ornery and impulsively violent man becomes, over the course of the films, something close to an older brother and mentor. In X2, he’s a full member of the team, if a slightly annoying and insubordinate one. In Days of Future Past, he’s the one the team chooses for the insane suicide time travel mission, the only one they trust to save the entire world from certain destruction. By Logan, he’s the last responsible adult left in the X-Men universe. He’s a reluctant chaperone for Professor X, and an even more reluctant father figure and mentor for Laura, who very clearly has the same personality and approach that Wolverine had at the very beginning.
That’s why his end in Logan is so heartbreaking. The ultimate villain is Logan from his past — a demon berserker who only cares about killing and mayhem. At the end of it all, the only thing that can truly kill Logan is his past.
And it isn’t Logan who kills X-24 — it’s his new mentee Laura. The man who entered the franchise as the epitome of a lone wolf leaves it imparting the importance of teamwork and family to his reluctant mentee, who is already in position to become a leader of the new generation of mutants.
It says a lot that the best X-Men movie (Logan) and the worst X-Men movie (X-Men Origins) both prominently feature Logan. For better or worse, Hugh Jackman was the very talented, very flawed, and very human soul of these movies.
The Future of The X-Men
The X-Men will almost certainly continue as a part of the MCU. But that has its own sadness. Because as good as the Marvel movies are, they are just not as weird as the X-Men franchise has been. I’m sure there will be another version of the X-Universe, one with less variability of characters, less crazy writing and less dependence on a handful of all-stars. And that’s probably better. But it won’t be the same as what once was.
So please, join me in pouring one out for the franchise that gave us:
- Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine
- X-Men Origins: Wolverine Deadpool
- Nightcrawler in X-2
- The Last Stand
- Deadpool
- Every time they try to do the Dark Phoenix arc
- Deadpool 2 Deadpool shooting X-Men Origins: Wolverine Deadpool in the head
- Cyclops dying offscreen
- Quicksilver in Days of Future Past
And many more moments, amazing, appalling, and just straight up strange. We will probably never see a franchise as good, as bad, and definitely as weird as this.
Mutatis mutandis,
Jefferson