Game of Game of Thrones Final Standings
Bow down to the queen!
Well, it’s been a long road, but every journey has to end at some point. Just as our beloved characters have fought against White Walkers, the Golden Company, and David Benioff & D.B. Weiss, each week we’ve been going head to head in Game of Game of Thrones. And at the end of it all, it’s time to crown our new monarch. So read on to see who came out on top!
(season preview, week 1 recap, week 2 recap, week 3 recap, midseason report, week 4 recap, week 5 recap, assorted yelling about the writing of Ramsay Bolton & Euron Greyjoy, year-end awards)
*=deceased
Littlefinger Memorial Leaderboard
Chaos is a ladder — let’s see who has managed to climb the highest so far. Will they be able to hold on, or will they plummet to their doom?
1. A cold boi haz no name (Jamie) — (5–1–0), 650 points
First-half record: (2–1–0), #2
- Arya Stark (385 points)
- Robin Arryn (20 points), midseason acquisition, replaces Theon Greyjoy* (130 points)
- The Mountain* (90 points)
- Harry Strickland* (25 points)
All hail the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms! After finishing #4 in 2017, Jamie came out on top this year. All hail Jamie, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Lover of Dogs, Lady of Board Games and Protector of the Realm! May her reign be long and glorious.
This team starts at the top with Arya Stark (Missandei Memorial Sexiest Player, Daenerys Targaryen Memorial MVP runner-up, Varys Memorial Wittiest Player runner-up), a true star and blue-chip talent who was more than capable of single-handedly carrying her team to victory. It wasn’t just the Arya show either. Theon Greyjoy* and The Mountain* were key substitutes off the bench. Supplemented by timely performances from Harry Strickland* and Robin Arryn, the reserves made it hard for defenses to key off on Arya. With this solid, veteran core, A cold boi haz no name was almost unbeatable, with their only loss a tight 10 point loss to #3 Chaos is a StairMaster.
Don’t say they didn’t earn it either. To get the crown, A cold boi haz no name had to beat the #2 and #4 team, pulling out the championship by going up against the toughest teams in the league. Truly a dominating performance from the 2019 champions, and a well-deserved victory in Game of Game of Thrones. Bend the knee to Her Grace, or be destroyed.
Team MVP: Arya Stark
2. Cleganebowl Confirmed (Jefferson) — (4–2–0), 595 points
First-half record: (2–1–0), #6
- Jaime Lannister* (190 points)
- Tyrion Lannister (240 points)
- Bronn (130 points)
- Gilly (35 points), midseason acquisition, replaces Ebrose (0 points)
Cleganebowl Confirmed is a team of Lannisters, so let’s start with the biggest name on the roster! Jaime Lannister* (Missandei Memorial Sexiest Player runner-up) regressed slightly from his insane 2017 campaign, but he still was a dominant scorer and versatile player able to take over a game. Veteran player Bronn provided excellent scoring output from the #3 slot, which combined with new addition Gilly formed one of the better benches in the league. But the real star of the show was Tyrion Lannister (Varys Memorial Wittiest Player, Cersei Lannister Memorial Drunkest Player). Coming off a disappointing 2017 season, the Littlest Lion was an afterthought in the trade negotiations that brought both Lannister brothers to the team. But the new environment completely reinvigorated the Imp, who was the team’s leading and most consistent scorer, racking up the points left and right.
Cleganebowl Confirmed’s feared Lannister Lineup made them one of the best teams in the league — they just weren’t good enough to get past A cold boi haz no name, who beat them 100–95 in week 5.The 2017 runner-ups finish in second place again this season, as Cleganebowl Confirmed solidify their reputation as this generation’s Buffalo Bills. The lesson, as always, is never try. Goddamnit.
Team MVP: Tyrion Lannister
3. Chaos is a StairMaster (Tom) — (3–2–1), 775 points
First-half record: (2–1–0), #4
- Bran Stark (360 points)
- Brienne of Tarth (185 points)
- Gendry (140 points)
- Podrick Payne (90 points)
The defending champions came into 2019 with one of the weirdest rosters imaginable. Drafting a lineup of the weirdest Stark kid, Sansa’s bodyguard/squire and a shirtless blacksmith seemed like a strange combination. How would it work out?
Pretty well, it turns out! Sporting one of the deepest benches in the league, Chaos is a StairMaster was able to throw Brienne, Gendry (Missandei Memorial Sexiest Player) and/or Podrick out there on pretty much any episode and score a decent result. The real star was Bran Stark (Melisandre Memorial Most Magical/High Status Character), the surprise King of the Six Kingdoms, who scored a massive amount of political and magic points. While the defending champions will be disappointed not to repeat, they can hold their heads high — they’re the only team this year to successfully defeat A cold boi haz no name, knocking off the eventual champs 130–120 in week 2.
Team MVP: Bran Stark
4. All that Glitters is Cold (Claire), (3–2–1), 415 points
First-half record: (2–1–0), #3
- Tycho Nestoris (20 points), midseason acquisition, replaces The Night King* (120 points)
- Tormund Giantsbane (130 points)
- Edmure Tully (20 points), midseason acquisition, replaces Jorah Mormont* (125 points)
- Alys Karstark* (0 points)
This team rolled through the first half of the season behind a three man game of The Night King*, Jorah Mormont* and Tormund Giantsbane, but All that Glitters is Cold was ravaged by injuries at the Battle of Winterfell, losing their top two scorers to death. Luckily, Tormund stepped up to the task. The big ginger did just enough over the last three weeks to gut out a win and a tie for All that Glitters is Cold, keeping the team in the top 5. And they almost won it all! Despite their losses, All that Glitters is Cold put up a tough fight against A cold boi haz no name in week 6, almost rallying before falling short in a 75–60 loss. Given their injuries, though, this team will be happy with where they ended up. Quite a jump for a team that finished #11 in 2017, and give another hand to fan favorite Tormund for carrying his team through to the end!
Team MVP: Tormund Giantsbane
5. Mr. Viserion, Tear Down This Wall (Jason), (3–3–0), 695 points
First-half record: (1–2–0), #7
- Jon Snow (195 points)
- The Hound* (190 points)
- Euron Greyjoy* (290 points)
- Nymeria (wolf) (20 points)
Mr. Viserion’s 2017 season was one of the highest scoring teams ever, and this team lived up to last season’s legacy by pouring on the points. The pairing of Jon Snow and The Hound* would be the story on almost any other team, but they were somehow overshadowed by their third-string teammate. In terms of points per draft spot, Euron Greyjoy* (Sandor Clegane Memorial Most Violent Player runner-up) was an all-time draft steal. The Dragonslayer was pick #23, which is insane value considering he was the fourth-highest scorer in the entire league! Unfortunately, this is a game of matchups, and Mr. Viserion lost winnable matchups to All That Glitters is Cold and The Onion Knights, keeping this team away from the crown.
Team MVP: Euron Greyjoy
6. Toast for the Toast God (Sarah I), (3–3–0), 650 points
First-half record: (2–1–0), #5
- Daenerys Targaryen* (480 points)
- Rhaegal* (75 points)
- Varys* (60 points)
- Missandei* (35 points)
Daenerys Targaryen* (Daenerys Targaryen Memorial MVP, Sandor Clegane Memorial Most Violent Player, Melisandre Memorial Most Magical/High Status Character runner-up, Varys Memorial Wittiest Player runner-up) was an absolute force of nature this season. Whether torching cities to the ground, amassing political power or insulting everyone around her, Daenerys single-handedly carried her team to victory after victory. She was a one-woman wrecking ball, impossible to defend. Unfortunately, after an incredibly hot 2–0–0 start, a thin bench doomed Toast for the Toast God. As the Queen’s court became sadly diminished with the losses of Rhaegal*, Varys* and Missandei*, more and more burden was placed on Daenery’s shoulders, and the MVP’s fatigue started to show. Despite the Breaker of Chain’s efforts, the injury-ravaged team went 1–3–0 and stumbled to the finish line after a blistering start.
Team MVP: Daenerys Targaryen
7. Jorah the Explorer (Sam) — (3–3–0), 425 points
First-half record: (1–2–0), #8
- Cersei Lannister* (90 points)
- Sansa Stark (190 points)
- Samwell Tarly (110 points)
- Qyburn* (35 points)
This team made a big bet on two Queens — the Queen in the North, and the Queen in the South. And the Queen in the North pulled off her end of the bargain! Sansa Stark was a consistent source of points throughout the season with her politics and wit. Add to that a surprisingly strong bench performance from Samwell Tarly and Qyburn*, and you have the making of a really good team. Unfortunately, fan favorite and #7 draft pick Cersei Lannister* had a rough season, failing to crack triple digits in a severe underperformance. However, this team finished strong after a rough start to the season, closing out the season 2–1–0 to keep their record at .500.
Team MVP: Sansa Stark
8. The Onion Knights: Shallot We Begin? — (Sarah C), (3–3–0), 315 points
First-half record: (1–2–0), #9
- Davos Seaworth (70 points)
- Grey Worm (190 points)
- Meera Reed (20 points)
- Yara Greyjoy (35 points)
In a league that has increasingly tended towards a high scoring, pace and space approach, The Onion Knights zigged where everyone else zagged. Of this team’s players, only Grey Worm was putting up top-tier production. However, this team still picked up 3 wins, including an upset over #5 Mr. Viserion, Tear Down This Wall! How’d they do it? With steely defense — teams would consistently have some of their lowest-scoring numbers going against the teeth of the Onion Knights’ defense. Call it old-fashioned, but the Onion Knights are perfectly willing to slow down the game, grind it to a halt and have Grey Worm cook an iso defender on the perimeter. It doesn’t look fancy, but it did get this team three wins this season!
Team MVP: Grey Worm
9. The Leeches Full of Gendry’s Blood Memorial Team (Rob) — (2–4–0), 455 points
First-half record: (2–1–0), #1
- Lyanna Mormont* (45 points)
- Beric Dondarrion* (210 points)
- Melisandre* (180 points)
- Fergus (20 points)
This Cinderella team shot up to #1 in the first half of the season behind one of the strangest lineups in memory — a magic-heavy lineup of Beric Dondarrion* and Melisandre* setting everything on fire, with Lyanna Mormont* adding her own particular dose of badassery. But as great as this combination was, it ran into some issues in the second half, because all of their top players died in week 3! While Fergus tried his best, in the end the injuries were too much for this team in the back half. Unfortunately, this band of plucky upstarts wasn’t able to hold onto their place atop the rankings — but they still had a first-half run their fans will never forget.
Team MVP: Beric Dondarrion
10. Watch the Iron Throne (Erin) — (0–6–0), 375 points
First-half record: (0–3–0), #10
- Drogon (240 points)
- Viserion* (75 points)
- Ghost (20 points)
- Eddison Tollett* (35 points)
At the bottom of the rankings, Watch the Iron Throne was just unfortunate not to pick up at least one win. Game of Game of Thrones is a game of matchups, and Watch the Iron Throne’s two biggest scoring weeks came against #3 Chaos is a StairMaster and #6 Toast for the Toast God, where they were unfortunate to come away empty-handed. But, if you’re not going to give your fans wins, you want to give them talent to get excited about — and team management definitely delivered that with Drogon (Sandor Clegane Memorial Most Violent Player). The big black dragon went on a one-lizard rampage through Westeros, lighting up the scoreboard (fifth highest-scoring character in the league) and single-handedly keeping games close. While Watch the Iron Throne fans will definitely be disappointed in the season’s results, Drogon is a top-tier talent they can be excited about to have in their franchise.
Team MVP: Drogon
End of Blog Post
That’s it, we’re done! Unless we do this again for the prequels or whatever. Anyways, my sincere thanks to Claire, Erin, Rob, Sam, Jason, Tom, Jamie, Sarah I and Sarah C for being part of this deeply stupid phenomenon, and thank you all for reading! It’s been a ton of fun. Until next time!
Winter is Coming,
Jefferson